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| Sent to my Conservative Beit Din on February 7, 2000I grew up without any formal religion. When I was 12 I began attending a Unitarian Universalist Sunday School to spend more time with my best friend. I like Unitarian Universalism - it was a mostly social religion, which is what I needed. It had a couple of basic precepts.
I find that from a religious/ ideological aspect that Judaism is very much the same with one G-d and Tikun Olam. What I like is that Judaism tells me what to do to be a good person, what ethical & moral behavior is expected/required. Growing up we celebrated Xmas & Easter, but they were more secular (Santa Claus/Easter Bunny & presents/candy) then related to J* C*. I was considered Xmas “psycho” by many of my friends & family, really big on decorating, thoughtful gifts, and cooking. In July of 1998 I met my now husband. At that time I was no longer involved with the Unitarian movement. I still considered myself to be a Unitarian but I no longer attended church. I was still pretty big on celebrating Xmas and Easter. Larry and I began to get serious and discussed how each of us pictured the future. Judaism intrigued me. Larry found the idea of his future children celebrating Xmas & Easter to be difficult, yet he put no pressure on me to convert. I decided to learn more about Judaism. I began reading books on what being Jewish is, converting to Judaism, etc. I celebrate all of the Jewish holidays with Larry. It was several months into my looking into conversion and studying Judaism before Larry would tell me that he was pleased with the direction I was taking. Initially, I felt that Larry did not want me to convert. I later found out that he did not want me to feel pressured. He is very supportive of me now. To me Judaism is a religion, a tribe, a culture, and a way of life that is always static and always dynamic. Nothing changes yet everything changes all the time. The religion aspect is the easier to understand and incorporate into one’s life. The tribe/culture are much harder to incorporate. I expect that the more involved with a Jewish community I become the more I will feel a part of the tribe/culture. The first concept that I really dug into was Shabbat. Boy did it appeal to me! A day without any chores. A day dedicated to learning, singing, eating, sleeping, praying, socializing, drinking, and being with family and friends. I began to fall in love with Judaism. I found a meaning/definition for Shabbat that worked for me and made all of the restrictions make sense. Shabbat is not just refraining from work and resting. It is making no physical changes to the world from when I light the Shabbat candles until 25 hours later. A full day where the world is left as it stands where we show no mastery over God’s creation. I began lighting Shabbat candles, putting money in a Tzedaka box every Shabbat, having company for Shabbos dinner, and cutting back on chores. I look forward to increasing my Shabbat observance once the conversion and wedding are over and we are settled into our new home. Next I tackled Kashrut. January of 1999 I began eating kosher style. I felt that I should determine if I could make a commitment to Kashrut. In May of 1999, X and I combined our households and became strictly kosher in the home, no food in the house that is not heckshured. I am cutting back on the amount of non-kosher food I eat outside of the house. I expect that by the time we move to X the only non-kosher food I’ll be eating will be at my relatives’ houses. I do not eat intrinsically treif food (pork, meat & dairy combinations). I believe it is important that I not become cut off from my family over this issue. I’ve also tackled Loshon Hora and Tznius. I have so much more to learn, but I feel pretty comfortable with where I am at this time. I attend synagogue weekly. I spend up to five hours a week reading Jewish material, books, magazines, and fiction. I expect this will continue as both X and I have a love of learning and I have so many questions and so much to learn. My observance will always be tempered by X’s level of comfort. It is hard for X. He has the certainty that the Jewish practices he followed as a child were authentic, even if they were illogical. I have an intellectual approach. This means that I raise questions where X's practices seem inconsistent. For example, with respect to Kashrut I ask: How do I justify doing this at home but that outside of the home. Where does it say I only need to follow the laws under certain circumstances? This means a lot of compromise on both our parts. X to be more traditionally observant and me to be more lenient. These differences in observance will require a lot of compromise on both our parts. X has to become more traditionally observant and I need to become more tolerant. I’m frequently asked what would happen if X were to die or we were to break up. My answer is: I’d move into an orthodox community and become very traditionally observant. I’m glad that during this time of study, I’ve been trying on different aspects of Judaism. I’ve read many conversion stories all with the same theme: I studied, I converted, then I took up the observance and I felt lost. By changing my lifestyle as I learn, I’m sure that I can live a Jewish life and that I want to. I enjoy preparing for Shabbat. I love preparing for the holidays. Every day I feel more and more connected with the Jewish people. What We have Done Since My Conservative Conversion until July 3, 2001Upon our marriage I covered my hair and increased my commitment to Tznius. When we moved and I became strictly kosher eating only fruit and vegetables at restaurants or friends houses. I still eat at my mother's but only dairy foods. We are working on finding a way for me to keep kosher at her house without causing estrangement from the family. We are now observing more traditional Shabbats than non-traditional Shabbats. We worked our way to this by slowing cutting back on various chores until we had stopped doing chores. Than we began working on properly preparing for Shabbat (food, lights, etc.) until we were ready for traditional Shabbats. We have company almost every weekend. We are really looking forward to Rabbi X and his family moving to our town this fall. We are working with my husband’s parents on observing traditional Shabbats when we visit for the weekend. My husband’s parents are trying to be understanding and flexible in working with us as our observance level increases. In March of 2001 we began studying weekly in one-on-one sessions with Rabbi X. We have continued increasing our observance of Loshon Hara and having been studying this with Rabbi X. We build a Sukkah in our backyard every year as well as building/donating one to our shul. Last year we had guest for lunch and dinner every day. We had a Sukkah decorating party with our neighbors and a Sukkah building party with friends. We have begun preparing for Taharat Hamispacha by learning to count, reading about the laws. I’ve has been studying this with Rabbi X’s wife. I have begun attending some of the Women's evening lectures run by the Orthodox community of X. We toiveled all of our dishes/pots/pans/etc. when we moved. What We've Done July 3, 2001-December, 16 2001Me:
Husband:
We:
From here you can read my conversion story or my beit din experience. |
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